


We Are The Ever Living Ghost of What Once Was

by go_sullivan



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Don’t copy to another site, F/F, Stealth Crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-25 14:38:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18576523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/go_sullivan/pseuds/go_sullivan
Summary: Lucy Lane would do anything for Alex Danvers. Anything.





	We Are The Ever Living Ghost of What Once Was

Thinking should have been hard. The pain in her head should have been all consuming, but Lucy Lane could think of more painful things than Myriad. 

Things like regret.

Lucy knew she wasn’t alone in that. She could see it written on her father’s face. Maybe he was spending his last minutes wishing he had been a better father. That he hadn’t pushed away Lois, whose mourning for their mother had turned into rebellion. That he hadn’t punished Lucy for looking too much like the wife he had lost. 

Lucy was selfish. She wasn’t wasting time thinking about how she could have been a better daughter. She did spare a thought hoping that Lois wasn’t alone. Everyone her sister cared about was here in National City. 

But her thoughts turned back to Alex Danvers. 

She watched the clock. 

“They’re not going to stop them, are they?” Her father’s voice cut through. 

Sam Lane saw the seconds counting down the time they had left before Myriad killed them as a way to be there for Lucy when it counted, even if it was too little too late. 

Lucy saw each second slipping away as losing the chance to tell Alex. 

She knew what she felt wasn’t love. But she knew it could have been if there had been time.

She fell into her father’s arms. At least she could give her father some of the comfort he was too afraid to ask for as he displayed emotions he had always been afraid to show. He kissed the top of her head like he used to when she was a little girl. 

Her head against her father’s shoulder, Lucy looked around for Alex. She was standing alone at the tactical table, it’s glowing surface doing nothing to hide the glistening tears caught in her eyes. Lucy’s first instinct was to go to her.

“Dad,” Lucy murmured as she struggled to her feet. “Something’s happening.”

As she stumbled through it to Alex’s side, the fog of pain in her head dimmed.

In a blink, Superman got to Alex before she could. “Agent Danvers? What happened?”

“She did it.” Alex wiped at her eye as she rushed toward Kara’s spaceship on display in the command center. “She lifted Fort Rozz into space.”

“Supergirl saved us.” Lucy confirmed as she stared her sister’s boyfriend down. She had figured who Clark Kent was after Kara had revealed she was Supergirl. She hated that she had been fooled by his bumbling farm boy act and a pair of glasses, but refrained from outing him in front of her father. 

“And now I have to save her.” Alex grabbed onto the side of Kara’s ship and pulled. It didn’t budge.

“I’ll go.” Superman stepped forward. 

“No.” Alex glared at him and the Man of Steel buckled.

“Let her do this.” As much as Lucy hated the idea, she knew how much Alex needed to do this. 

“So you’re going to fly directly at Myriad. It’s still giving off the signal” Maxwell Lord butted in. “That’s insane.”

“I’m well aware.” Alex didn’t spare anyone a glance.

“Do you even know how to fly that thing?” Lord continued. 

Lucy knew the man had helped save the world, but she didn’t like him. On top of having an ego the size of Texas, the man had been the one holding Alex’s hand back when Myriad was going to kill all humans. Lucy didn’t want to admit she was feeling any jealousy. She would admit to wanting to punch him in his smug face though. The man didn’t know Alex Danvers at all.

“Of course.” Alex growled.

“Then hop in.” Superman nodded and pressed the ship on it’s side to open it. “I’ll carry the ship outside.”

Alex wasted no time in getting into the ship’s cockpit. She started to work some of the controls, to see if everything was in working order. 

Lucy felt it then. Like a warning that everything was going to fall apart. But she swallowed it down. Nothing was going to stop Alex from saving her sister. Alex was going to bring back Kara or she wasn’t coming back at all. 

But she had to say something. Or she’d never get to say it.

“Alex,” Lucy called out to her. The other woman looked up at her expectantly. “If you don’t come back, I’m kicking your ass.”

Lucy caught the small frown on Alex’s face that had quickly been covered up with a bold grin. “I’m coming back. You still owe me a good sparring match after what you put me through.”

“Be prepared to lose.” Lucy laughed even though she could start to feel the tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

The ship’s hatch closed over Alex’s head. Alex gave Lucy a small nod. And then she and the ship were gone.

“Vas, can you track the ship in orbit?” Lucy went to the other agent. 

“Of course, Ma’am.” Vasquez pulled the ship’s trajectory up on screen. “How are you feeling?”

“My head’s had worse.” Lucy waved off the concern. “How about you?”

“I’m good, Ma’am. But that’s not what I’m asking about.” Vasquez frowned. 

Since J’onn J’onzz had made it so that Lucy was named acting Director of the DEO while he and Alex were on the run, Agent Vasquez had stepped up to help Lucy as her second-in-command in all but name. The two hadn’t become friends, at least not yet, but they were friendly. 

Agent Vasquez was exactly the type of person she’d get along with. They were quick on their feet, cool under pressure and extremely well at reading people.

Currently, Lucy wasn’t a fan of that last one. 

“I know.” Lucy crossed her arms, as she watched the screen. That feeling of dread wouldn’t leave her. “How’s it looking?” 

“Not good.” Vasquez shook her head.

Lucy turned away from the screen. She felt crushing pain in her chest. She just knew. “They aren’t going to make it.”

She sent out a silent prayer, to anyone listening to prove her wrong. She clenched her eyes shut desperately. “Please.”

When Lucy opened her eyes again, she realized she was no longer in the Command Center but surrounded by endless black as far as she could she. And standing in front of her was the most gorgeous person she had ever seen. They were dressed in a crimson suit with the buttons done up, but no shirt on underneath, showing off the pale skin of their chest. 

“Your wants, your Desire.They’re calling to me.” They spoke with a soft and melodic voice, like a siren singing her to shipwreck. Blood red lips smirked.

Lucy shuddered with arousal and fear. 

“You’re afraid of what you want. No, you’re afraid of how badly you want her.” They said. “But you don’t have to be afraid of me, my dear.”

“I don’t-”

“You do. You want her.” They smiled like a blade, and Lucy knew they could easily cut like one if she misspoke. They moved around her, sizing her up and down. “My Sister and I have a soft spot for the Last Daughter. For different reasons. I love the way she makes you mortals feel Desire. Desire to help her, Desire to make the world a better place, Desire to Destroy her. And Desire for her… flesh. She really cuts a handsome figure in that suit and skirt, doesn’t she? Even with your want of the sister, you admit that she’s attractive.” 

“And for my own Sister, my dear Twin? Kara Zor-El is Her perfect piece of art. The one who escaped her dying unstable world and the only one left to remember it. The Mourner left behind to Despair.”

“She’s in no danger of meeting our eldest Sister, no matter how ready she is to. But your Alexandra Danvers?” They stopped circling her. They licked their lip. “Dead or alive, we still get what we need. Either Supergirl goes down a dark path with the loss, and you will still feel us. My Sisters most especially. Or they both make it back safely. And Hope wins for a time.”

“You’re offering to help me?” Lucy asked. 

“Have you not heard a word I said?” Their eyes narrowed. “Yes. We will help you. You help her. She helps Supergirl. It’s as easy as that.”

“With you, I doubt it’s as easy as you make it sound.” Lucy said skeptically.

“Clever girl. We require,” They flourished their hands to emphasize their dramatic pause. “A sacrifice.”

“These kinds of deals usually do.” Lucy murmured. 

“Time’s running out for the sisters.” They chuckled and stepped in close. They cupped Lucy’s cheek in their hand. “What would you give up to save them?”

“Anything. I’d give up anything.” Lucy stared into their golden eyes. She knew not to trust them completely, if at all. 

“Would you give up your life for her?” They lifted her chin. All the amusement left their face, and all that was left was sharpness and a predator happy to devour its prey whole. 

It was a trap, but Lucy was desperate. 

“Yes!” Lucy cried out. “Please!”

“It is done. And remember, you will find that sometimes when you get what you want, you won’t want it anymore.” They winked, and were gone.

“Ma’am? Lucy!” Vasquez touched her arm gently. 

Lucy was standing back in the command center. Vasquez was looking at her with concern. 

“Are they,” Lucy trailed off. She couldn’t bring herself to say the rest. 

Part of her had wondered if she really had talked to a Being powerful enough to change the outcome and give her what she wanted. But she had met a mind-reading Martian, was friends with a bulletproof alien, and had stood up to her father, so it was in the realm of possibility. 

“They’re alive. Both of them. Alex did it.” Vasquez beamed at her. 

Lucy was smiling so hard her face was starting to hurt. 

“Superman is bringing in Supergirl.” Director Henshaw- no, J’onn J’onzz’s voice came in on the comms. 

“And Alex?” Lucy asked, hoping that the worry was kept out of her voice. If any of it had escaped, she hoped it came off as a director worried for one of her agents. But Lucy knew she wasn’t fooling anybody. 

“Agent Danvers is fine.” The smile was obvious in J’onn’s voice. “A little shaken up from a crash landing. But don’t tell her I told you.”

“Alright.” Lucy’s heart swelled. “We’ll see you all soon. We’ll get med bay ready.”

Soon, Superman brought Kara in and put her under the waiting sunlamps. Alex came in soon after, mumbling about being okay and not needing to get checked out. After a glare from Lucy and a sharp please from Eliza, Alex gave in. Once she got the all clear from the DEO doc, she took up watch next to Kara’s bed. 

After walking past the entrance to the med bay a few times without actually going in, Lucy finally passed the threshold armed with a bottle of water in one hand and a cup of coffee.

“Hey,” Lucy greeted the other agent.

“Hey,” Alex returned as she looked up at her. “Is one of those for me?”

“They’re both for you?” Lucy faltered. 

She had thought about her mother in her hospital bed, about what had given her comfort as a child with a sick mother: a smile, a drink, a blanket, being trusted with the word, no, the diagnosis for what was killing her mother. All of it adding up to let her know that she wasn’t being lost or forgotten during the heartbreak and grief. Lucy had received all of that from the nurses and none of it from her own father. 

Having someone be there for her had made such a huge difference for Lucy. Someone acknowledging that a loved one being sick or hurt came with its own share of emotions for the family. 

Lucy could be that for Alex if the agent wanted her to.

“Is the coffee from the canteen?” Alex scrunched her face.

“It’s from my office.” Lucy laughed. “My secret stash.”

“So the good stuff.” Alex took the cup of coffee. “You know I’m going to be raiding your office from now on.”

“I know.” Lucy smiled as she set the bottle of water where Alex could grab it when she wanted. 

“Thank you for your concern about my hydration level. I have to ask though what else do you have stashed in your office? A bottle of Jameson maybe.”

“It’s Glenmo 10 actually. I’m afraid I’m going to keep the best stuff all to myself at my apartment.” Lucy winked. 

“Welp, I have a bottle of Maker’s 46 stashed around here myself.” Alex admitted. 

“Excellent choice.” Lucy approved. “I’m guessing you’ll be dropping by my office for more than coffee from time to time. But if you’d rather drink outside of the DEO, I have a bottle of Macallan Fine Oak, aged 21 years that I’ve been saving for a special occasion. I think not dying and saving the world counts.”

“She really did it.” Alex looked over at Kara.

“She did.” Lucy smiled. “And you got her back. How’s she doing?”

“Kara just needs to spend a couple more hours under the sunlamps. And wake up.” Alex’s shoulders tensed.

“She will. And she’ll be raiding my office for snacks in no time.” Lucy joked, thinking of the food she kept in her office just for the hero. “You know, she really does look up to you. While you were on the run, Kara would talk to me about you. Tell me stories about you.”

“Oh God. What did she tell you?” Alex put a hand to her forehead, fingers splayed out into her hair. “She told you about my fear of tiny kittens, didn’t she! She always brings that up. Kara thinks it makes me look more approachable. As if I have to be more approachable.”

Alex seemed to realize what was making Lucy grin so hard. Lucy decided to let the embarrassing tidbit slide, but she decided to file it away for later. 

“Kara didn’t mention that actually. But I’m sure she would have gotten around to it.” Lucy had found Kara really easy to talk to. She told Kara things she couldn’t even tell James or the other people she had dated. A friend and not just a colleague. “No, all the stories she told me just let me know how much she looks up to you. How you’re her hero. And it made me realize that I…”

Lucy dipped her head. She should be able to get the words out now. Lucy took Alex’s hand in her own. “Just that I can’t imagine a world without you in it.” 

“The world’s going to have work a lot harder to get rid of me.” Alex laughed, but then rubbed her thumb on the back of Lucy’s hand. “Thank you for being here.”

“Alex?” The voice was tired and confused.

Lucy and Alex looked at the bed where Kara was waking up. Lucy squeezed Alex’s hand before getting up to give Alex time with her sister. “I’ll be outside.”

Back out in the command center, Lucy joined J’onn J’onzz. The man smiled softly at her. “It’ll be okay. They’re both fine.”

Lucy exhaled slowly. “How do you do it? Just let them go off without losing your mind with worry.”

“I have to believe that Kara and Alex will always come back. And we’ll do everything we can to make sure they do.” J’onn clapped a hand on Lucy’s shoulder. “If they don’t come back, we go after them and bring them home.”

They didn’t have to say it. Everyone at the DEO knew that J’onn saw the Danvers sister like daughters with the two sisters seeing him as a father figure. Lucy couldn’t help but be jealous of their relationship. But there was time to forge a friendship with J’onn.

“You’re good for her. Alex, I mean. You’ll keep her on her toes. Keep her in line. Or at least be right alongside her when she rushes off into danger.” J’onn smiled warmly at her. “You care about her.” 

“Am I that obvious?” Lucy winced.

“To everyone except Alex.” J’onn chuckled. “But once she figures it all out... You two will be good together.”

“I’m willing to wait. She’s worth it.” Lucy smiled softly. She had realized, with some help from Agent Vasquez, that Alex still needed to figure out some truths about herself. She could give Alex all the time she needed. And until then, she’d be in Alex’s life in any way that the other woman would have her.

J’onn looked at something over Lucy’s shoulder. “Our heroes have arrived.”

Lucy started clapping for the Danvers sisters as they make their way towards J’onn and the other DEO agents, who all join her in applause for the heroes. Kara approaches Lucy first, while Alex goes off to hug J’onn.

“Thank you so much.” Kara said as she wrapped Lucy in a hug that was big enough to lift her off the ground.

Lucy returned the hug. “I didn’t do anything. You saved Alex. And Alex saved you.” 

“You saved Alex.” 

“What, what are you talking about?” Lucy pulled out of the hug, but Kara kept a hand on her shoulder.

“It’s silly. I had a dream while I was out I guess. I don’t remember it all except for golden eyes. And that you helped Alex somehow. Maybe it was all just a Dream but it felt so real.” Kara had a far off look on her face. 

Lucy paled. “I didn’t really do anything.”

“You were there for me. And Alex. You risked everything to save her and J’onn because I asked you to. And because you knew it was the right thing to do.”  
Lucy kept quiet. Maybe she had done something just this once because she wanted something. Someone. And even if she had done the right thing, it was for selfish reasons. 

If she had actually done anything. The deal was her life for Alex’s. And here they were both alive. There was no mistake about it, what with Alex making her way towards her and Kara. Seeing Alex grin exactly like she had just saved the world had Lucy’s heart pumping and blood rushing. Having Alex embrace her, being able to hold her in return, feeling her breath on the nape of her neck was practically heaven to Lucy.

Alex pulled out of the embrace and Lucy missed her touch.

“Hey.” That cocky grin was still on Alex’s face.

“Hey, yourself.” Lucy bit her lip. 

“I told you I’d be back.” 

“Never doubted you for a second.” Lucy stomped down on the need to frown. She didn’t need Alex to notice it. She had doubted that Alex was going to come back. After all she may or may not have made a deal with the Devil.

Or something worse.

Lucy punched Alex in the shoulder.

“Ow! I mean, awww.” Alex smirked. “I had to come back because I knew you’d miss me too much!”

“Shut up.” Lucy rolled her eyes. 

Alex was right though. 

Lucy would have missed her. Hours ago, she had watched someone who had stolen a piece of her heart go off with the uncertainty that she would never come back. The thought that she would have gone the rest of her life without that piece, without Alex, had been unbearable. The worst kind of hurt. 

“You should come to Kara’s tomorrow knight.” There was a shy hesitation to the invitation. But then the usual Alex Danvers bravado was back. “We’re going to have a victory celebration. Kara is going to insist on it.” 

“Nothing could keep me away.” Lucy though it was cute that she could make Alex nervous even for a second. She didn’t mind that Alex had covered it up quickly. It meant something that she was trusted enough to see this side of the agent. She was looking forward to getting to know all the sides of Alex better. “I’ll be there.” 

It was hours later, after finishing a mountain of paperwork, that Lucy got ready for Kara’s. She gripped the handle of the bag tighter, not wanting to drop the precious gift inside in her nervousness, least it shatter all over the floor. 

The bottle of whisky was something special Lucy had picked out for Alex. Being her, she had overthought the purchase. Lucy hadn’t wanted to get something so expensive that she gave the impression she was the type of person to have thousand dollar bottles of whiskey in her home bar. But she didn’t also just want to get something so everyday. In the fourth store, she finally found something worthy of Alex: a bottle of Laphroaig 25 Year Old. It even came in a wooden box, in which she had left a note for Alex. 

After going through all that, she was just going to say she had been saving it for a special occasion. 

And wasn’t saving the world a special occasion, she would say with a smile directed at Alex.

Steeling her courage, Lucy knocked on the door. 

From behind the door she heard a muffled, “I’ll get it.”

It was Alex that opened the door. 

“I hope I’m not too late! Is everyone here already?” Lucy gripped the gift bag with both hands tightly. She hoped her smile came off as inviting instead of nervous. 

Because she was nervous. Never in her life had she been this nervous. 

“Hi, sorry are you lost?” Alex was frowning as she looked her over.

“Am I lost?” Lucy laughed. 

Alex wasn’t amused. Her face gave nothing away. There was none of the gentle teasing and levity that Alex allowed to see. Lucy even found herself wishing for that long gone derision Agent Danvers had for Major Lane.

It must have been on her face. Because Alex started to look worried for her. “Are you okay?”

“Who is it, Alex?” Kara joined her sister at the front door. “It shouldn’t take this long to answer the door.”

Kara’s face lit up when she saw Lucy. Her relief at the blonde’s bright, easy smile was crushed when Kara continued, “Did you order more food?”

“I-“ Lucy’s lips quivered. Kara would never go along with such a cruel joke. Neither would Alex for that matter.

Behind Kara, she could see James and Winn sitting in the living room watching the scene. Her ex appraised her but only with the attraction that came from crossing paths with a pretty stranger, like the first time they met. Winn was doing the same but only because James was looking.

Kara, unaware of what was happening behind her, looked between Alex concerned expression and Lucy’s eyes watering. “Do you two know each other?”

“No.” Alex said.

That was it. The confirmation that something was seriously wrong. Lucy’s thoughts cycled what could have happened. Gas leak. Chemicals. Maxwell Lord. Aliens. A side effect from Myriad. A wizard did it. The deal you made with the Devil. 

“Um. Hey?” Kara brought her out of her thoughts.

“This is for you. Alex Danvers.” Lucy held out the gift bag. Maybe Alex would read the note. Read how important she was to her. About how much Lucy cared. About how Lucy couldn’t imagine her life without Alex in it.

Then Alex would remember.

“Are you sure you’re okay? Is there anyone I could call for you?” Alex’s eyes pressed together.

“I’m fine.” Lucy lied. “Just a rough few days. Thank God for Supergirl, right?”

“Yeah.” Alex smiles softly, no doubt thinking of her sister. She took her wallet out, and slipped a ten dollar bill into Lucy’s hand. 

Lucy accepted it awkwardly not knowing what else to do. “Th-thanks.”

“You have a good night. Take care.” Alex closed the door.

When the door shut, Lucy thought about how she should knock again. Demand answers. Scream and beg that she knew them all. That they knew her. 

But she left defeated.

Lucy had to be sure of the situation so she called Vasquez directly. They threatened her not to call the number again. Her father didn’t even pick up after multiple tries. 

And Lois. Her sister said she was “sorry”. That she “was an only child.” That Lucy “got the help she needed.”

Once she wiped the tears from her eyes and started moving again, Lucy Lane knew what it meant to give her life up for Alex Danvers.

**Author's Note:**

> Why did I write this? I wanted an explanation for Lucy Lane not ever being mentioned and came up with this.


End file.
